Building Resilience, One Moment at a Time
Written By: Jill Di Donato
Resilience is a notion that gets tossed around a lot, especially as the culture moves through such challenging collective experiences. You probably recognize resilience as something process-oriented and beneficial, but might have trouble thinking about how to distill resilience building practices so you can engage with them on a daily basis.
The Slow Beauty Journal reached out to mental wellness experts to explain how to cultivate resilience with daily practices.
We tapped Adrianne Fiala, LCSW, a mental health counselor at a private high school in New York, and therapist in private practice to help us understand how to manage anxiety. We also reached out to Akua Boateng, Ph.D, a licensed psychotherapist with over 13 years of experience in clinical practice and education and Shameka Green, LMFT, a best selling author, motivational speaker. Boateng and Green are part of the DRK Beauty Healing network, a mental health and wellness non-profit organization that supports women and non-binary people of color.
Why Resilience Is Important
Think about resilience as part of an equation, as it certainly can help put you on the path towards an integrated self. “Resilience = adversity + internal resources to manage the weight of that adversity,” explains Boateng.
Whenever you experience a loss, explains Fiala, “A loss of a loved one, a job, or anything meaningful to you,” she says resilience is the “capacity to keep going.” You adapt and change, and she says, “you just push through and keep moving.”
Green adds that resilience is important because in and of itself, it relies on a positive outlook. “Resilience is the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” she says. “It's the innate desire to BELIEVE the storm won't last forever. If you give up today, you will never know what tomorrow will bring.”
“Resilience = adversity + internal resources to manage the weight of that adversity.”
Daily Practices to Cultivate Resilience
Green says that resilience is a natural progression of growth.“You are resilient! Think about how far you have come and where you came from,” she explains. “Give yourself grace and reflect on your inner strength.” In addition to recognizing your growth, be sure to frame each moment, each stage, each progressive step as part of your journey. And that means acknowledging time as ephemeral.
“Speak life into every situation as if you truly believe it's only temporary,” explains Green. In trying to cultivate resilience with daily practices, “You can take the lesson from every test and move with gratitude towards what's to come.”
A Three-Step Approach to Resilience Building
Boateng outlines a three-step approach to cultivating resilience in your daily practice. Her following recommendations aren’t quick fixes, but intended to take root over time and with careful and disciplined nourishment from within. First she advises people to, “Build community,” as you do this, you’re grounding yourself within a support system. This takes patience and intention. She advises, “Take life slowly and with ease.” Finally, she advocates that you actively “prioritize recovery time during adversity.” Recovery time goes deeper than self-care, something to meditate upon as you handle challenging moments.
A Grounding Exercise to Get Started in Building Resilience
Fiala notes that when you commune with nature, “it grounds you,” and can be highly impactful in building resilience. “I believe in grounding exercises. Literally, take your shoes and socks off and get with the earth. Look at the sun. Have the sunlight and sky be the first thing you gaze at in the morning. These practices impact the nervous system.”